Staring at his DVD shelf wondering...

My cohort Phil Gelatt, who's new movie The Bleeding House is in the Tribeca Film Festival, is asking the tough questions. WTF IF...

1. Splash + the Frighteners + Dirty Harry = A rogue mermaid cop hunts the ghosts of dead sailors?

2. Hudson Hawk + Dracula + Nashville = The varied populace of a southern city is plagued by a vampire; a singing thief has to save them

3. Ginger Snaps + Alphaville + Dr. Moreau = Teenage animal girl discovers she lives on an island controlled by a poetic mad scientist computer?

4. Blade Runner + Cemetery Man + MASH = In a future city, ravaged by war, a medic has to figure out who is dead and who is alive?

5. Videodrome + The Beyond + From Beyond = .... this one just breaks my brain.

6. Lost Boys + The Witches + Mall Rats = Young suburban boys discover a coven of foes who attempt to turn them into literal mall rats?

7. Aliens + Legend + Forgetting Sarah Marshall = Heart Broken soldier travels to resort planet, finds it occupied by demons AND his ex?

8. Howard the Duck + Spider Baby + King of Comedy = Weird family obsessed with talk shows, death encounters a wise cracking duck man, eat him?

9. Hellraiser + Candyman + From Hell = Pinhead, Candyman and Jack the Ripper. It's a gay porno.

10. Good, Bad & Ugly + Pig in the City + Return of the Living Dead = A pig, a naked punk girl and a cowboy fight the undead/each other over gold.

11. Medea + Barton Fink + On Her Majesty's Secret Service = ...? I have no idea.